A Moment with Him

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Gusto kong magkwento sa isang pangyayaring naganap noong July 17, 2013.

It started when I visited the office where I worked before. Feel ko lang magliwaliw doon kasi nami-miss ko na ang mga dati kong mga ka-chokaran. I felt happy kasi nakasama ko na ulit ang mga taong ilang taon ko ring nakasama sa tagal ng inilagi ko doon.

 

Nakita ko ulit ang makasaysayang DTR namin.

Naka-chikahan ko ulit ang naging closest friends ko.

Nakakulitan ko ulit ang katimbang ko sa trabaho.

Nakausap ko ulit ang boss ko with matching pagalit at panunukso pa.

 

It was fun and it was all in good faith. 

But the last scene, kung matatawag man iyong isang eksena, was the one that was ingrained the most in my head. It was something I have had with him, my office crush.

Yes, I admit. Although abnormal akong maituturing, nagkaroon din ako ng isang office crush like any normal office girl. Sa bagay na iyon, normal ako. Or, not really. Sa edad kong ito ay nagkaka-crush pa ako, hindi rin siguro iyon normal. Pero kasi, hopeless romantic ako. Or, for a better explanation, romantically hopeless.

Simula pa lang, crush ko na siya. He just seemed to be Mr. Ideal. I mean, he’s almost everything I ever wanted in a man: tall, handsome, and smart – with emphasis on smart. Sadyang matindi ang kahinaan ko sa mga matatalinong lalaki. Maganda rin itong ngumiti. Malakas din ang weakness ko sa mga lalaking nakakabighani ang ngiti, iyong tipong makalaglag-underwear ba. Magkaminsan, natatawa siya sa mga ka-corny-han at ilang antics ko. Kaya ayun, crush ko siya. ^_^

 

Anyway, ito `yung nangyari…

 

We were talking. The talk was funny. Not funny-haha but funny-weird. We were sitting in the conference room. Sa simula, pinapagalitan niya ako. Maybe hindi pinapagalitan pero pinagsasabihan. I can’t recall the exact words but the feeling was the same as the one I feel tuwing napapagalitan ako – my gut was squirming, isang indication na guilty ako at pinapagalitan ako ng kaharap ko.

Fast forward, ayun nga, pinagsasalitaan nga niya ako at feeling ko ay ako na ang pinakamasama at pinakanakakahiyang nilalang sa mundo. I felt a bout of shame slammed into me.

Then, an unexpected turn happened.

He took my hand and held it in his warm ones. I was taken aback, taken by surprise. And I felt blood rushed from my body to the veins in my face. My face felt beet-red. Who would’ve thought that he’d hold my hand in such a way? Not me!

But what made my insides writhe was when his eyes caught mine and held it in his gaze for the longest time. His eyes were liquid pools of chocolate. And they looked so deep I could drown in them. I was drowning in them.

For the longest time, we were just seated in front of each other, looking intently at each other, holding each other’s hands.

Then I heard myself uttered a soft apology. I didn’t know what I was apologizing for or why I apologized. It just felt right to say the words “I am sorry” to him. I said the words three times, in an almost begging way, but he just sat there – holding my hands, looking at my eyes – unmoving.

Then, little by little, he bent towards me. Closer. Nearer. Taking the breath out of me.

I could feel him. I could feel his nearness. I could feel the heat emanating from him. I could feel him moving closer and closer and closer. He was mere inches away from me when…

“Lot, mata na. Inom na og tambal,” said my mother’s voice.

My eyes opened as I felt a cold on hand my neck.

I heaved a frustrated sigh.

Panaginip. Nananaginip lang pala ako.

On the morning of July 17, 2013, nagising ako sa isang panaginip na masasabi kong nakakatuwa and at the same time ay nakakapagpabagabag.

 

In a nutshell, I dreamt about going back to work in my former office and feeling happy and guilty at the same time. And I dreamt about a scene that I have been daydreaming about ever since. Siguro, talagang na-miss ko sila, na-miss ko siya, kaya ganoon. Minsan talaga nagma-manifest sa panaginip ko ang desires ng puso at utak ko.

 

Haaay… sablay talaga t-um-iming ng mama ko.TSK!!!

Posted on August 3, 2013, in Short tales and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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