The Game of Porcelain Thrones
Everybody knows how weird I am. It is true that I have a bizarre twist in the head, people are accepting of that. I AM BORN THAT WAY.
Anyways, one of my quirks involved things that run inside my head while I am seated on the john.
Yes. In the level of my abnormality, my imagination is running like a raving lunatic every time I sit in the porcelain throne.
Here are some of those weird thoughts that basically make up my minutes inside the toilet.
- I always think that a snake would pop out from the drain hole or inside the bowl. It would slowly creep out from the hole and then bite me on my calf (if it came from the drain) or bite my butt (if it came from the toilet bowl)
- I always worry that the world would suffer its end while I’m sitting there with my shorts and underpants down on my knees. I imagine everything melting like candle wax while I’m stuck inside the toilet.
- I’m scared that someone would force open the door and kidnap me while I’m rather uncomfortably underdressed.
- I tremble at the thought of Sadako crawling under the door or the thought of that blue dead lady from The Grudge creeping from the ceiling. I’m really scared of those two creeps!
- I always feel that someone is looking in on me from outside!
- I became poetic while I’m seated on the throne. I can no longer count how many poems I have conceptualized and actually finished while I’m sitting on the john.
- I’m fond of imagining the my love story with my crush (whoever my current crush is). Of course the date would not be in the toilet, mind you, but I’ve been to everywhere because of those dates.
- I could vividly imagine the scenes that I desperately wanted to write for my stories. Those type of scenes that are movie quality, with all the dialogues and background music, too!
- I think of having my sworn enemies undergo creepy voodoo spells.
- I think of topics to write about for my blog and my Facebook wall. Like this one!
My noggin is really productive when I sit on the porcelain throne. I can think of all the things in the world while I excuse myself to the world.